Gaining and losing the pounds.

 My task is to save money and lose weight. Both are going to be tough.

I don’t really need to lose much weight which is a plus- I’ve recently been eating out a lot and this has mostly been junk food combined with alcohol and so the jeans have become tighter and I swear I’ve grown another chin. The diet/ exercise regime has so far been going quite well- however I am only on day 3. I’ve never been able to stick to these projects. However, I am running regularly, doing yoga and I have been stocking up on fresh fruit and vegetables, lessening my portion size and generally being much more healthy. And boy do I feel it. Even running feels easier after three days of eating better- you truly are what you eat. Don’t get me wrong, I will enjoy some drinks this weekend and inevitably a slice of pizza or curry may pass my lips but I am not going to stop myself enjoying the things I like- I simply won’t eat them every day!

On the money side, I am becoming increasingly aware that in 39 days I am moving into a flat and will be paying rent and bills again. I have re-discovered my passion for Ebay although it is a learning curve since I got the postage confused and now I think am at a loss after selling 15 or so DVDs. (Typical Kate). But I am reducing my ‘eating out’ days which costs money AND is not as healthy and so does not help with the diet. Unfortunately, my social calendar seems to revolve around ‘meeting for dinner’ but this will simply have to change- what’s wrong with the old fashioned cuppa and a natter? I am going to learn to cook economically and perhaps even ‘freeze’ things?! I actually purchased a slow cooker the other day- before you think it was a wreckless expenditure (I do have a reputation for being Becky Bloomwood from the Shopaholic book series after discovering one day I had £60 left in my account and got excited because it meant I could buy the £59.99 dress that I saw), I have discovered that this is a good way of preparing meals that are not too expensive AND you can freeze the remainder. M & S delights may have to go on the back burner along with nipping to the garage for a sandwich. I’m not abandoning my weekly Look magazine indulgence although buying things I see in it perhaps is not a good idea. I still like to circle the things I like each week though whilst having a glass of wine. Eek mid-week wine has been scrapped... I’ll let that ONE slide.

Moving in...with a boy

I’ve lived with guys before- in fact only up until recently I was living with two great guys in a shared house in Cambridge. Funnily enough and contrary to stereotypical assumptions, I was the messy and disorganised one and they kept me in line. I was regularly shot the disapproving look when I had to ring the doorbell because I had forgotten my key, or because I had left all my crap downstairs around the living room and just not bothered to take it upstairs! (It really was home from home). I quite enjoyed that though, they were very tidy and respectful (apart from when the football was on) and we had a great couple of years. They both remain very important to me.

However, I’m about to move in with a boy properly and it is a little daunting. We have only been together 9 months which isn’t very long at all and it is more circumstantial that it is happening but we are very excited. We’ve popped our ‘sensible hats’ on and are moving in to an inexpensive but lovely fully furnished house within walking distance of my parents and 2 miles of his and so should we need that ‘time out’ we have it available. (Sorry mum and dad). Therefore we don’t need to invest in any furniture which already eases the stress financially and mentally. But still it WILL be stressful because we are going to be learning more and more about each other... he will learn (although he probably already knows as he calls me a sloth) that I can be quite lazy and since I work from home I can roll out of bed at around 8.45am and work in my pyjamas until late morning. However, this can mean that at 11pm I’m wide awake saying ‘Let’s watch a film!’ and he’s covering his face with a pillow. We are also learning about each other’s tastes... he wants to get a metal bust of someone’s face (he doesn’t know who yet) whereas I am dreaming of scented candles and big cushions that everyone can laze around on (sloth side again) and relax. He is sensible with money and knows we don’t need many luxuries to start with but I’m on first name basis with the man at Sky looking for deals so we can have a Sky + box and record loads of programmes just because we can! Cleanliness is going to be interesting- we’re both moving out of parents houses where I will admit we are BOTH spoilt. We both pay the bare minimum and get our washing and cooking done (he also still gets his room tidied but he’s a little younger so I’ll give him that). We’ve both lived away- I was at Uni for four years, I’ve been travelling and I lived in Cambridge for two years and so I can adapt quite easily but it’s different with a partner- you can perhaps get away with more...or can you?

Does anyone have any tips? One of my close friends said to expect loose coins to be EVERYWHERE. Definitely a guy thing. Why do they do that? Another said that they panic if they feel they are losing their ‘identity’ – I guess a football placed by the door will help? I’ve definitely realised that ‘presentation’ is quite important to me and less important to him. ‘Who cares if that doesn’t match?’ ‘Hmmm I do.’ It’s interesting because you pick up habits from your parents and their style and we are now having to join these whilst building our own style together as a couple and finding out what we both jointly like. Watch.this.space.

Three Times a Bridesmaid...

If you ask the regular person in the street to explain why marriage is important, you would probably be shocked as to what you hear. Or perhaps you won’t. I have tried it with various people, usually those in their 20s who are contemplating the decision. In my experience, people tend to say it is something they would like to do because it is traditional, because they get to become husband and wife (or life partners) in front of friends and family and that they receive lots of presents (usually said with a giggle but this is no joke.) There is never really talk about entering a life-long union through better or worse and that although life will inevitably throw them challenges, together they will work at getting through them. Although maybe they can be forgiven for not thinking this as perhaps marriage is not what it used to be.

My views on marriage are quite blurred. I have never really been someone who has dreamt of their perfect wedding and pictured the white dress and hundreds of guests (apart from whilst watching Father of the Bride or a similar Hollywood take on the perfect day), however I have always known that I want to eventually meet the right person and join with them through marriage in the traditional way. Perhaps this is because my parents married yet in a low key and personal ceremony, perhaps it’s because part of me likes the idea of following the traditional route of falling in love, joining together and starting a family with the intention of it being for life. However, whether it is owing to my upbringing, I have always seen marriage as a deeply personal experience but one that should be understated and based around your identity as people and as a couple. It is a union that should be celebrated for the right reasons with a view that this will be for life. Archaic as it sounds and although I am not religious, I feel in recent times, marriage has lost the respect it deserves, it’s traditional, social and often religious meaning and young people are not educated appropriately on the decision or the act. I also strongly feel that it has become a declaration of status for quite superficial reasons and a day that is now organised by the woman which has become widely accepted.

However, this blog is now going to turn into a celebration of three friends who have taken the step into marriage and honoured me by asking me to be a part of a very special day- something I am truly thankful for.

On July 30th this year I was bridesmaid for the third year in a row and I came away feeling it was one of the nicest weddings I had been to-I have known the bride for almost 25 years and the couple had been together for over 10 years. The day had that lovely feel where you knew it was a milestone in their strong relationship and a union  we were able to witness that we knew meant everything but would not change a thing between them. It took place in a gorgeous renovated barn in a top hotel and the whole day was relaxed and enjoyable with a fantastic range of guests and friends.

The second time I was bridesmaid was for a newer but very close friend who I see regularly and love her company. I also get on very well with her husband and find them both a great couple. This wedding was probably the longest for planning but it paid off as the day ran smoothly and was a testament to the work put in by the families and couple. It was also nice to see the results of many months of excitement by the bride and she looked beautiful. It even incorporated the first England game in the 2010 World Cup which worried them first but added a fun element to the day as guests were able to wander outside in the Sun and catch moments on the widescreen television in the lovely courtyard!  Once again, I was blessed with sharing bridesmaid duties with another two lovely girls and the ceremony and reception really brought two sets of families and friends together. They are now expecting their first child and are very excited.

The first time I was bridesmaid it was for a close school friend who had asked me because I meant a lot to her and we talked and celebrated at length about the decision and the prospect. She was completely in love with her husband-to-be and she made the decision about the kind of wedding she wanted to have. She then planned and saved and paid for the day and it was special and romantic. I was present for a dress fitting and had my hair and make-up done on the day and we all drank champagne and reminisced before the ceremony. They also had a new-born son who was able to be part of the day and it felt like we were at the start of something very special and a union that would last a lifetime. Unlike the other weddings I have been a bridesmaid for, this one had most of my close school friends in attendance and so it was a great excuse for us all to have a good day together again. The couple sacrificed a honeymoon for logistical and financial reasons but have now moved to Brunei for 3 years and are going to make the most of their adventure on the other side of the world.

My friends know my views on marriage and although I like to pretend it’s not for me, perhaps I have been converted? Whether I spend thousands of pounds or simply have a low-key party, I just hope I achieve the sense of specialness and happiness that I have witnessed with my three friends.

Have Buckley's chance

I just saw Neighbours and I smiled at a saying in it which relates to my ancestry. A man was in hospital and was told his cancer had spread and he said 'my chances of survival are Buckleys to none." This is an Aussie saying - to "have Buckley's chance" or "to have two chances, Buckley's or none" refers to an escaped convict called Buckley who survived in the outback for 30 years after being rescued by Aboriginals. It was considered impossible for convicts in Australia to survive in the outback-hence the saying.

There is another which goes 'couldn't give a Buckleys' translating to 'couldn't care less.' This is believed to have come from the large number of Buckleys that were sent over to Australia.

My Grandpa was called Edward Buckley and was born and grew up in Cork, Ireland. It is a common surname among the counties Cork and Tipperary and the Gaelic meaning of the name is taken from the word buachall meaning "boy".